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Apr. 29th, 2003 09:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
calientraOk, so it's been a while since I've posted here. Time to remedy that. And to try to remember what I had written here before my LJ client decided to make it go blooey a bit ago.
Two weekends back, I went on a trip to Murfreesboro, TN to pick up the rest of my stuff I had left at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
yotewah's place when I moved back to Illinois in February. Left here at 5PM on Thursday, arrived there at 1:30AM. 530 miles in 8 1/2 hours... not to shabby. And it gave me a chance to road test my car, which I hadn't really had a chance to do since purchasing it in March. I bought a '91 Mazda 626 in case anyone is wondering. Anywho... got to her place and cuddled a bit then some more... then slept. I was a tired vixen. The next day, I worked on getting her checkbook and bills caught up, as she does have trouble seeing to do that kind of thing. Saturday was spent relaxing before going to a Pagan gathering with several of her friends. I don't know why, but after an hour or so, I started feeling very out of place and we had to leave. Normally, pagan people are fine by me... but this group struck me as strange somehow... I know they are a very sexually open group, which normally doesn't bother me, being around furs tends to broaden one's outlook on such things, but this time I was feeling very weirded out for some reason. Then when we got home, the old depression that I had gone through while living there came back on me like a load of bricks. I was almost tempted to head home then and there, but I had made plans for brunch the next morning with some of the local furs and didn't want to disappoint them. So I stuck it out, not sleeping well at all that night. Sunday, met up with ramalion, tahamaki, and KBear at the local Shoney's and had good food. Afterwards, I said goodbye to yotewah and headed out about 11:45AM for home. After leaving the area, I started to feel much better. I don't really know what it is, but Murfreesboro must have something in for me. I don't think I can ever go back there without at least remembering all the bad depression and despair I felt while living there. Stopped at quasiskunk's place on the way home. It was good to see him and his mate RC Rabbitsfoot for an hour or so, having not seen them since MFF last November. Quasi is one of my best friends in furry, if not my best friend period, though he may or may not realize it. They really cheered me up. Left there around 7:30ish and got home around 9:30, and proceeded to crash hard for the night. Went to work at 6AM the next day, and had a good week at work.
Last weekend was spent in St. Louis with my furry family, and helping Rama to move in to his new apartment. A large group of furs showed up to help, includingbjbuttons, quasiskunk, tygercowbow, spikerotty, and several others. Was really great to see everyone there again. Had some good times, ate good food, and was very very happy to be back in St. Louis. Really got me thinking too that I need to work towards moving back there in the future. Though this time, when it happens, I plan to have a job and an apartment lined up first. I learned my lesson last fall, trust me. Didn't want to leave Sunday, but knew I had stuff to finish here at home before work this week again.
Had to give my friend Kodiak rides to and from work yesterday and today as his car had broken down over the weekend, which was no problem at all for me, especially after the way he took me in for a while when I moved back here in February. He's a good friend, though he can tend to get overbearing with his constant chattering on about subjects only he has an interest in. He's getting better about that though.
Last night, while running my Butterscotch Live! radio show, which can be found at on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings from 6 PM to Midnight, I had a small crash, and when I got it back online, I didn't realize that the microphone was still turned on. Listeners got to hear me having a phone conversation with my ex... andyotewah was one who overheard. This did not go over very well... and it took a couple of hours of talking online with her to smooth things over somewhat. Now I'll admit, lately, I've been feeling like my relationship with her was not working out the best, and this didn't help. I ended up asking her to release me from the vow I'd made with her a long time ago... so now the vixen is free to do as she wishes again, though we are still trying to make things work. Only time will tell. Those of you who know me probably know I'm bisexual, and that I've been married twice in the past RL. Both of those relationships lasted about 3 years or so and then went sour... I just don't seem to have what it takes to be a married fur. In fact, finding furry is what cause my second marriage to disintegrate, though we were already having issues. I'm a complicated furson... and I have trouble showing emotions a lot of the time it seems. I had better luck with a few male partners in the past... though nothing serious ever developed back then. Of course, back then I was having gender identity issues big time... I'm very glad to have finally got that sorted out! So for those who don't know or were guessing... yes, I'm a guy RL... but I'll always be a vixen as far as furry goes. That seems to work best for me, and I can express my feminine side a lot easier without having to worry about the issues of transexualism. I may not like being a male, but I realized long ago that I will never be able to change that realisticly, so I make the best of it. Furry has given me the freedom to express myself that way, and for that and the acceptance I have received from my furry family, I am eternally grateful.
Tonight I finally started working on cleaning and organizing my apartment. It's amazing to me how much stuff has piled up here in 3 short months. Looking much better now. Still have a few things to finish up tonight, but shouldn't take much longer.
Don't forget, I'm planning a Furry Picnic on May 31 at Starved Rock State Park, and anyone who can make it there is welcome to come out for a fun filled day. Email me for more details, as I really need to get this posted. Long winded vixen tonight I guess. *grins* Hope everyone is doing well. Goodnight.
Two weekends back, I went on a trip to Murfreesboro, TN to pick up the rest of my stuff I had left at
yotewah's place when I moved back to Illinois in February. Left here at 5PM on Thursday, arrived there at 1:30AM. 530 miles in 8 1/2 hours... not to shabby. And it gave me a chance to road test my car, which I hadn't really had a chance to do since purchasing it in March. I bought a '91 Mazda 626 in case anyone is wondering. Anywho... got to her place and cuddled a bit then some more... then slept. I was a tired vixen. The next day, I worked on getting her checkbook and bills caught up, as she does have trouble seeing to do that kind of thing. Saturday was spent relaxing before going to a Pagan gathering with several of her friends. I don't know why, but after an hour or so, I started feeling very out of place and we had to leave. Normally, pagan people are fine by me... but this group struck me as strange somehow... I know they are a very sexually open group, which normally doesn't bother me, being around furs tends to broaden one's outlook on such things, but this time I was feeling very weirded out for some reason. Then when we got home, the old depression that I had gone through while living there came back on me like a load of bricks. I was almost tempted to head home then and there, but I had made plans for brunch the next morning with some of the local furs and didn't want to disappoint them. So I stuck it out, not sleeping well at all that night. Sunday, met up with ramalion, tahamaki, and KBear at the local Shoney's and had good food. Afterwards, I said goodbye to yotewah and headed out about 11:45AM for home. After leaving the area, I started to feel much better. I don't really know what it is, but Murfreesboro must have something in for me. I don't think I can ever go back there without at least remembering all the bad depression and despair I felt while living there. Stopped at quasiskunk's place on the way home. It was good to see him and his mate RC Rabbitsfoot for an hour or so, having not seen them since MFF last November. Quasi is one of my best friends in furry, if not my best friend period, though he may or may not realize it. They really cheered me up. Left there around 7:30ish and got home around 9:30, and proceeded to crash hard for the night. Went to work at 6AM the next day, and had a good week at work.Last weekend was spent in St. Louis with my furry family, and helping Rama to move in to his new apartment. A large group of furs showed up to help, including
bjbuttons, quasiskunk, tygercowbow, spikerotty, and several others. Was really great to see everyone there again. Had some good times, ate good food, and was very very happy to be back in St. Louis. Really got me thinking too that I need to work towards moving back there in the future. Though this time, when it happens, I plan to have a job and an apartment lined up first. I learned my lesson last fall, trust me. Didn't want to leave Sunday, but knew I had stuff to finish here at home before work this week again. Had to give my friend Kodiak rides to and from work yesterday and today as his car had broken down over the weekend, which was no problem at all for me, especially after the way he took me in for a while when I moved back here in February. He's a good friend, though he can tend to get overbearing with his constant chattering on about subjects only he has an interest in. He's getting better about that though.
Last night, while running my Butterscotch Live! radio show, which can be found at on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings from 6 PM to Midnight, I had a small crash, and when I got it back online, I didn't realize that the microphone was still turned on. Listeners got to hear me having a phone conversation with my ex... and
yotewah was one who overheard. This did not go over very well... and it took a couple of hours of talking online with her to smooth things over somewhat. Now I'll admit, lately, I've been feeling like my relationship with her was not working out the best, and this didn't help. I ended up asking her to release me from the vow I'd made with her a long time ago... so now the vixen is free to do as she wishes again, though we are still trying to make things work. Only time will tell. Those of you who know me probably know I'm bisexual, and that I've been married twice in the past RL. Both of those relationships lasted about 3 years or so and then went sour... I just don't seem to have what it takes to be a married fur. In fact, finding furry is what cause my second marriage to disintegrate, though we were already having issues. I'm a complicated furson... and I have trouble showing emotions a lot of the time it seems. I had better luck with a few male partners in the past... though nothing serious ever developed back then. Of course, back then I was having gender identity issues big time... I'm very glad to have finally got that sorted out! So for those who don't know or were guessing... yes, I'm a guy RL... but I'll always be a vixen as far as furry goes. That seems to work best for me, and I can express my feminine side a lot easier without having to worry about the issues of transexualism. I may not like being a male, but I realized long ago that I will never be able to change that realisticly, so I make the best of it. Furry has given me the freedom to express myself that way, and for that and the acceptance I have received from my furry family, I am eternally grateful. Tonight I finally started working on cleaning and organizing my apartment. It's amazing to me how much stuff has piled up here in 3 short months. Looking much better now. Still have a few things to finish up tonight, but shouldn't take much longer.
Don't forget, I'm planning a Furry Picnic on May 31 at Starved Rock State Park, and anyone who can make it there is welcome to come out for a fun filled day. Email me for more details, as I really need to get this posted. Long winded vixen tonight I guess. *grins* Hope everyone is doing well. Goodnight.
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(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-29 09:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-30 12:26 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-04-30 04:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-04-30 09:59 am (UTC)I find that certain locations can indeed contribute to one's mental health. I can't stand places that are cold and polluted. I need sunshine or I get all gloomy.