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May. 27th, 2003 11:50 amWell, another day... another fruitless search for a job. I swear, I really don't understand how someone is supposed to survive in this day and age. I try so hard... but no jobs seem to come my way. I know I'm not the only one in this situation... and I feel for every single person who is in this situation... because I know just how much it sucks. I really don't know what I'm going to do if I cannot find a job in the next few weeks. I will be receiving unemployment... a whopping $51 a week. Now how is someone supposed to live on that? My rent alone equals that amount in a month's time. Does anyone have a lead on any kind of job I could possibly do? I'm willing to do most anything to survive at this point. I know I have many friends out there, and I know they are concerned about me, and for that I am grateful, but right now... I need a steady income just to survive. I get so frustrated at my apparent lack of marketable job skills... and I feel at times that I do not deserve to be here anymore. I know this is not true in my heart... but it sure seems that way to me. I know also I have made some bad decisions in the past... I try to learn from my mistakes, and I am trying to make things right, but I also know I've burned some bridges that I so truly wish I had not done. I do truly feel sorry for what has happened. I've hurt several good people last year... They say they forgive me... I guess I need to forgive myself.
Sorry for ranting like this, but it does help me. Some of you know I started smoking late last year again, after being smoke free for a long time. I'm desparately trying to quit again now, and I am having some success in this. I'm down to about 1/2 pack a day now, from the 2 packs a day I was smoking. So this is good. The bad thing is, I'm feeling very irritable and bitchy more than normal lately, which I guess is to be expected. Though I'm now at the point of having to just go 'cold turkey' because I cannot afford to buy the damn things again. So maybe I can just go for broke and give the damn things up and deal with a week or so of nasty bitchyness and be over it. I know my local friend, Kodiak, who BTW now has a LJ account,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hazardous_roo says not to worry, he understands what I'm going through. I am so greatful for a friend like him, not to mentiont the rest of you who do know me. I hope that the picnic I'm holding this weekend will help cheer me up. I need so badly to be with my furry friends. I so wish I could be with you all all of the time. If there was a way to have a place for furs to live in peace with the world, where the worries of this nasty modern life could be forgotten, I'd be there in a heartbeat. I know this is a dream... but I do try to make things better for myself and for us all.
Now, here's one quiz that seems to relate to how I feel lately. I'll be nice and put it behind LJ cut tags for those who hate quizzes. See, I'm looking out for you guys too. :)
( Anger Quizzie )
Sorry for ranting like this, but it does help me. Some of you know I started smoking late last year again, after being smoke free for a long time. I'm desparately trying to quit again now, and I am having some success in this. I'm down to about 1/2 pack a day now, from the 2 packs a day I was smoking. So this is good. The bad thing is, I'm feeling very irritable and bitchy more than normal lately, which I guess is to be expected. Though I'm now at the point of having to just go 'cold turkey' because I cannot afford to buy the damn things again. So maybe I can just go for broke and give the damn things up and deal with a week or so of nasty bitchyness and be over it. I know my local friend, Kodiak, who BTW now has a LJ account,
hazardous_roo says not to worry, he understands what I'm going through. I am so greatful for a friend like him, not to mentiont the rest of you who do know me. I hope that the picnic I'm holding this weekend will help cheer me up. I need so badly to be with my furry friends. I so wish I could be with you all all of the time. If there was a way to have a place for furs to live in peace with the world, where the worries of this nasty modern life could be forgotten, I'd be there in a heartbeat. I know this is a dream... but I do try to make things better for myself and for us all. Now, here's one quiz that seems to relate to how I feel lately. I'll be nice and put it behind LJ cut tags for those who hate quizzes. See, I'm looking out for you guys too. :)
( Anger Quizzie )
