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May. 27th, 2003 11:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
calientraWell, another day... another fruitless search for a job. I swear, I really don't understand how someone is supposed to survive in this day and age. I try so hard... but no jobs seem to come my way. I know I'm not the only one in this situation... and I feel for every single person who is in this situation... because I know just how much it sucks. I really don't know what I'm going to do if I cannot find a job in the next few weeks. I will be receiving unemployment... a whopping $51 a week. Now how is someone supposed to live on that? My rent alone equals that amount in a month's time. Does anyone have a lead on any kind of job I could possibly do? I'm willing to do most anything to survive at this point. I know I have many friends out there, and I know they are concerned about me, and for that I am grateful, but right now... I need a steady income just to survive. I get so frustrated at my apparent lack of marketable job skills... and I feel at times that I do not deserve to be here anymore. I know this is not true in my heart... but it sure seems that way to me. I know also I have made some bad decisions in the past... I try to learn from my mistakes, and I am trying to make things right, but I also know I've burned some bridges that I so truly wish I had not done. I do truly feel sorry for what has happened. I've hurt several good people last year... They say they forgive me... I guess I need to forgive myself.
Sorry for ranting like this, but it does help me. Some of you know I started smoking late last year again, after being smoke free for a long time. I'm desparately trying to quit again now, and I am having some success in this. I'm down to about 1/2 pack a day now, from the 2 packs a day I was smoking. So this is good. The bad thing is, I'm feeling very irritable and bitchy more than normal lately, which I guess is to be expected. Though I'm now at the point of having to just go 'cold turkey' because I cannot afford to buy the damn things again. So maybe I can just go for broke and give the damn things up and deal with a week or so of nasty bitchyness and be over it. I know my local friend, Kodiak, who BTW now has a LJ account,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hazardous_roo says not to worry, he understands what I'm going through. I am so greatful for a friend like him, not to mentiont the rest of you who do know me. I hope that the picnic I'm holding this weekend will help cheer me up. I need so badly to be with my furry friends. I so wish I could be with you all all of the time. If there was a way to have a place for furs to live in peace with the world, where the worries of this nasty modern life could be forgotten, I'd be there in a heartbeat. I know this is a dream... but I do try to make things better for myself and for us all.
Now, here's one quiz that seems to relate to how I feel lately. I'll be nice and put it behind LJ cut tags for those who hate quizzes. See, I'm looking out for you guys too. :)
You are the Borderline NUKE, You try to show that
you're calm, but you're ready to explode, but
in all honesty, you probably need anger
management. It will ease all that built up
anger, man, those facial ticks might be
permanent if you don't help yourself. Military
experiments are your best bet.
What anger personality do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla
Sorry for ranting like this, but it does help me. Some of you know I started smoking late last year again, after being smoke free for a long time. I'm desparately trying to quit again now, and I am having some success in this. I'm down to about 1/2 pack a day now, from the 2 packs a day I was smoking. So this is good. The bad thing is, I'm feeling very irritable and bitchy more than normal lately, which I guess is to be expected. Though I'm now at the point of having to just go 'cold turkey' because I cannot afford to buy the damn things again. So maybe I can just go for broke and give the damn things up and deal with a week or so of nasty bitchyness and be over it. I know my local friend, Kodiak, who BTW now has a LJ account,
hazardous_roo says not to worry, he understands what I'm going through. I am so greatful for a friend like him, not to mentiont the rest of you who do know me. I hope that the picnic I'm holding this weekend will help cheer me up. I need so badly to be with my furry friends. I so wish I could be with you all all of the time. If there was a way to have a place for furs to live in peace with the world, where the worries of this nasty modern life could be forgotten, I'd be there in a heartbeat. I know this is a dream... but I do try to make things better for myself and for us all. Now, here's one quiz that seems to relate to how I feel lately. I'll be nice and put it behind LJ cut tags for those who hate quizzes. See, I'm looking out for you guys too. :)
You are the Borderline NUKE, You try to show that
you're calm, but you're ready to explode, but
in all honesty, you probably need anger
management. It will ease all that built up
anger, man, those facial ticks might be
permanent if you don't help yourself. Military
experiments are your best bet.
What anger personality do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla
