Something in the air...

[calientra]

I'm feeling... strange today. I can't put my finger on what seems to be bugging me either. I have had a wonderful weekend, and I sure don't want it to end. Maybe that is part of it. But... I don't know. Maybe I feel like I'm intruding a bit on my hosts. I don't want to ever be in the way of other people's relationships and friendships. Maybe I feel like I don't deserve the attention that people are giving me lately. Or maybe I'm just being silly and stupid, as I was just told I was doing. I've never been good at letting myself be happy, mainly because I haven't really ever known true happiness very much. Which is sad.

So, does that make me a sad and stupid vixen? I surely hope not.

Comments

Intrusions...

[sslaxx.livejournal.com]

...I've always been awful at knowing when I've overstayed my welcome. Not being good at social cues doesn't help much. But if they're happy with you being there, why worry? snugs

Re: Intrusions...

[cal-foxx.livejournal.com]

I have been informed that I have not overstayed my welcome here. In fact, these are the two friends I will be moving in with in a couple of months... so I think I'm just feeling very silly for writing what I did earlier. My mind, what there is of it, works against me at times. Sorry about that.

Re: Intrusions...

[sslaxx.livejournal.com]

Yeah, know how that can be. My mind is a very treacherous thing. gives strawberries and snuggles

Re: Intrusions...

[salith.livejournal.com]

"Or maybe I'm just being silly and stupid, as I was just told I was doing."
Yeppers, and I know a certain wolfy who can be like that too *HUGS*

Re: Intrusions...

[cal-foxx.livejournal.com]

Seems to be a common issue among females... so I guess that proves that deep down, I AM female. Which I pretty much knew already. Damn male body....

[redvixen.livejournal.com]

*grins* vixens are supposed to be silly!!! however you probably are just feeling as if you might be intruding on their weekend and time together but if they don't mind you being there then try not to worry about it *hugs* you're just showing that you care about others by how you currently feel.

[cal-foxx.livejournal.com]

I do honestly care about how others feel when I'm around them or interacting with them. Dog knows, I never want to interfere in something that is ongoing. Maybe I need to learn just where the lines of communication and boundaries are somehow... which I've not ever been really good at doing.

[badjahsensei.livejournal.com]

Nope, you're not being silly and stupid. Everyone deserves attention and affection--even you.

...and maybe keep an eye open for people who might be trying to give you attention and affection.

[cal-foxx.livejournal.com]

I try to keep an eye out for those who try to show me attention and affection, but at times, I think I am blind to that. Though with a certain Kyttin, it's hard to miss. *grins* Maybe someone needs to use a clue-by-4 on me?

[badjahsensei.livejournal.com]

Maybe someone needs to use a clue-by-4 on me?

Reflects on a conversation that he and this certain kyttin had tonight...

Yes, I think the clue by four is necessary at times. You never know when someone may be using subtlely... ;X)

[cal-foxx.livejournal.com]

*gets ready for the needed blow to her cranium*

I must admit, I'm just a bit confused right now. Maybe we need to discuss this on ICQ or something?

[koakako.livejournal.com]

Yeah, what Cutter said. ;)

I've known you to be silly, in a good way, now and then; but never stupid... :P

[cal-foxx.livejournal.com]

I guess I just feel stupid at times. I'm really good at cutting myself down, but not at giving myself credit. Get that clue-by-4 ready to use on me....

[sylverfox.livejournal.com]

If I had a livejournal four years ago, I would have found myself saying the exact same thing you are.

The only difference is, you indeed are deserving of happiness...

[cal-foxx.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Yes, I know where you are coming from too about times past.

I think my main problem right now is allowing myself to feel that I do indeed deserve some happiness.... mainly because I have experienced so little of it in the past.

[sylverfox.livejournal.com]

Happines is subjective. This is one thing that I've learned. Four years ago, I saw myself almost exactly where you are, with as much emotional baggage, just of a different kind. A wonderful group of strange people welcomed me into their group with open arms. Two of said people helped to try to convince me that I deserved to be happy.

Here's where the similarity ends.

You've been through a lot, and, yes, you're seeming to find happiness. If this is what makes you happy, then don't fight it. Don't push it away, because it could be a fleeting opportunity.

Take it from me. I know.

[babsbunny.livejournal.com]

*teleports*

*hugs*

*teleports away*

*repeats at random intervals*

[ex-prima237.livejournal.com]

You know, I've felt that too. "I don't deserve to be happy". And after
going through my FUCK YOU!!! angry years over that I've come to the
conclusion that happiness is mostly a choice. Sure its cool to get a good
setting and people that love you but, in the end, what do you care? I've
learned that being happy with gentle times taking my inner child out for
candy fish or a good run to the bookstore is at least something I can
do that gives me control over my own happiness. I'm not preaching at
you dude but don't wait for others to make you happy. What do you like?
Why not take yourself their?

[linnaeus.livejournal.com]

Worrying that you're intruding or getting in the way means that you're the sort of person who worries about that sort of thing, which generally seems to be part of being a considerate person.